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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448818">Saving Her is All the Matters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesbyReese/pseuds/StoriesbyReese'>StoriesbyReese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>All That Matters [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate SG-1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Relationship, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:41:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesbyReese/pseuds/StoriesbyReese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janet Fraiser saved lives. She meant something special to the people who cared about her, who loved her. Sam Carter was one of those people. For her, Janet was too important to just live with her death, because what kind of life would it be without her? So Sam makes the choice not to even try. </p>
<p>This is an edited repost of a story I posted years ago on another site. Wanted to bring it over here for a new audience to hopefully enjoy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Samantha "Sam" Carter &amp; Janet Fraiser, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Janet Fraiser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>All That Matters [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The good little solider. That is what Sam had been all her life, even as a child, the good little solider. She almost always did just what she was told, followed every order, every rule, every regulation. On those rare occasions when she didn’t, she always had a damn good reason, and those reasons more often than not included saving lives. So why shouldn't she break the rules now? Why shouldn't she say to hell with regulations? She would be saving a life. The life of someone they all cared about. The life of someone she cared about. </p>
<p>Janet Frasier was more than just someone Sam cared about, more than just her best friend, and it had taken Sam a long time to work that out. She had no idea when it had happened, when she had fallen in love with her best friend. Sam just knew that it happened sometime before the upgrade gantlets, Apophis's super ship, and that moment just before she thought she was going to die because those damn gantlets had chosen a really bad time to stop working. In that moment, facing her own mortality, all of Sam’s thoughts and feelings had been about Janet. In that moment she could no longer hide from the truth. She was in love with Janet Frasier. </p>
<p>When she didn't die, Sam did what any good little solider would do. She locked everything she was feeling away in a safe place and then buried it as deeply as she could get it. Not to do so would have been risking her career. She had hidden that part of herself away a long time ago because she knew it would end her military career before it even started, and it would risk her relationship with her father. Sam hid those feelings now, pushing them even deeper down than before, because she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, risk what she already had with Janet and Cassie. Sam would be happy with just Janet’s friendship. Then Anise/Freya had shown up with her damn za'tac machine, and all of Sam’s plans went to hell.</p>
<p>~~~~~</p>
<p>
  <i>  "Colonel O'Neill admitted that in the moment before the ship's shields went down his thoughts and emotions in that moment were of you. He said that he cared about you, more than he should." The Tok'ra said as she watched Sam carefully from behind the control panel of her alien lie detector. "Were you covering for him the first time we did this?"
</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes." Sam answered honestly, her gaze focused straight ahead of her. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"You were aware of his feelings for you?" Freya asked next.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Not until that moment." Sam replied honestly. Perhaps she had been naive about it, but it was the truth. She really had no idea Jack’s feelings had grown beyond friendship and the closeness of the team. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"And because his feelings are against your military regulations you tried to hide the memories of that moment before your near deaths for his sake?" Freya continued unyielding in her drive to prove or disprove wither Sam was a threat or not.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam tried to nod but her head was strapped to the chair she was in. “Yes.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The colored ring on the machine began to swirl and change but it didn't change to a solid blue, which would have cleared Sam. She was still hiding something, and Freya would not relent until she uncovered it. "I need you to tell me how you felt in that moment, Major."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam hesitated as she looked at Jack who stood in the corner of the room watching her, guarding her not because he thought she was a threat, but to protect her against Freya if he had too. She didn't want to admit how she felt in that moment. She didn't want to hurt him. He was her friend and she cared about him. Sam would never cause him pain, at least not intentionally, and she was afraid this would hurt him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"It’s ok Carter." Jack told her. It was just the three of them and Teal'c in the room with Janet in the gallery. Sam's guards were outside the door. "Nothing leaves this room, remember. Whatever's said, it stays between us."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Freya nodded her confirmation of this. "You have my word, Major Carter. I will tell no one what has been reveled here, only the results of the test."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"You have my word as well." Teal'c said with a slight nod of his head.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Jack looked up at the gallery. "Doc?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Of course." Janet said over the intercom as she looked right at Sam. "Sam knows I have her back, always."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam sighed. If this went much further, and the painfully tight knot in her stomach was telling her it would, would Janet still feel that way? How many of her friendships would she have to jeopardize before everyone was satisfied that she wasn't a goa'uld sleeper agent?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Sam." Janet said softly. "This is the only way to prove you're not a za'tac."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>This was so clearly a no-win situation. Sam either had to continue or she had to let her best friend put her into a medical coma for what could end up being a very long time. She knew she wasn't a za'tac, she knew why the machine was reading that she was keeping secrets, and she could so very easily put an end to this. But Sam was afraid of the outcome. Finally, Sam sighed softly and nodded for Freya to continue.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"How did you feel in that moment, Major?" Freya asked.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Guilty." Sam finally admitted.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>That wasn't the answer everyone was expecting.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Guilty?" Freya repeated. It took a moment to think it out and then she added, "Because you do not feel the same way about Colonel O'Neill?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It hurt to see Jack look like he'd been sucker punched but Sam answered honestly. "Yes."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>That should have been it. That should have cleared the readings, turning the circle from orange to blue. Sam had told the truth. But the circle was still showing orange which told them that Sam was still hiding memories, still keeping secrets. For several long moments the room was silent and tense. Then Freya closed her eyes, her head dropped, and when she looked up to speak it was Anise who said, "Colonel O'Neill's feelings for you surfaced in that moment because it is impossible not to think of the one you care so deeply about just before you die.” Her voice was gentle and full of understanding. “You were thinking of someone in that moment, Major Carter. Not O'Neill, but the one you feel so deeply for it's a part of you, they are a part of you."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes." Sam answered, her voice thickening with emotion.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Ancient eyes took Sam in for so long that it made her squirm. Then Anise asked, "What were you feeling in that moment, Major?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Regret." Sam answered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Regret?" Anise repeated.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam closed her eyes, unable to look at Jack or Janet, or anyone else in this vulnerable moment. "Regret, fear, sadness I haven't felt since losing my mother."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Orange was being taken over by blue more strongly on the screen, but it wasn't enough to make the Tok'ra stop. "Explain Major. Please."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam wanted to hide from them all, from what she was saying, doing, feeling. She wanted to feel in control again, to go back to hiding from and ignoring the truth. She felt like she was standing in front of a dam about to burst, trying to keep it from breaking by pushing against the cracking, crumbling rock, but knowing it was pointless and that she was about to be swept away in the onslaught. Maybe being kept in a prolonged medical coma wouldn't be so bad? A nice long nap might be nice. If she let the dam break, she would not only be risking her career, but she could be risking losing two of the most important people in her life, three if she counted Jack.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"If you will not or cannot continue Major, we have no choice but to believe you to be a za'tac." Anise said firmly but oddly caringly. "Dr. Frasier will be forced to put you into a medical coma to keep you safe from yourself."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam opened her eyes and allowed her gaze to shoot up to Janet who stood as close as she could get to the glass of the gallery. The look of concern on Janet’s face, the caring in her doe eyes, was too much. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Just answer the damn questions, Carter!" Jack barked at her.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Janet smiled. "It'll be ok Sam."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Would it? Sam really hated Anise/Freya and her damn machine. Tearing her gaze from Janet she looked at the focal point of the machine again. This was it; this was the moment that would break Sam, she just knew it. There would be no coming back from this. "I was regretting that I'd never had the courage or strength to admit to myself how I really feel about her. I was afraid of losing her even though she wasn't mine to lose. I was sad because I thought I'd never see her smile again, or hear her laugh, or watch her do all the little things I think are amazing."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"You've kept the memories of these emotions hidden to protect her?" Anise asked.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes." Sam answered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Because they are against your military's code of conduct and because of the rule about fraternizing?" Anise questioned.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Yes." Sam answered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"And because you fear your true feelings will do harm between you?" Anise pushed.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam closed her eyes again and this time the action caused the tears that had welled in her eyes to roll slowly down her flushed cheeks. "Yes."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>When Sam opened her eyes, Anise was staring at her with that gaze that said she'd lived more than Sam could even imagine, and that she understood. Sam really wished she would knock that off. She didn't like it when people could read her so easily. It even annoyed her when Janet did it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Finally, Anise said, "You are no za'tac, Major Carter. You have not been programmed to harm anyone, and the kind of harm you posse to yourself is not something I can fix."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Wait." Jack said as he glared at Anise. "You just said she isn't a zantac. Why is she still a danger to herself?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Anise ignored Jack while she walked over to release Sam from her restraints. "The Tok'ra do not perceive gender and sexuality in the same primitive way humans appear too. The host and symbiote will often have different preferences. I myself find Dr. Jackson very attractive while Freya for some odd reason prefers Colonel O'Neill, though honestly I don't see what she could possible see in him."</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"Hey." Jack protected.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Anise continued to ignore him. "Kadiri, my host before Freya, and I loved the same woman, a beautiful, elegant, intelligent female Jaffa. Our beloved was tall and slender, as strong if not stronger than any male Jaffa." Across the room Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Her skin was as dark as ebony, a head as bald as Teal'c's, and eyes bluer than your own." Anise smiled fondly at the memory as she helped Sam from the chair. Those old eyes now turned to Janet while Anise continued speaking to Sam. "I believe Kadiri would have appreciated your preference for tiny, tenacious, loyal, and most of all quite fierce."
</i>
</p>
<p>~~~~~</p>
<p>Sam smiled a small weak smile that nearly broke her heart. It felt wrong to smile just yet, but she couldn't help herself. Janet had taken offence at what she had called a backhanded compliment.</p>
<p>
  <i>"She practically called me a terrier, Sam!"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"To be fair, Janet. I'm not sure the Tok'ra even know what a terrier is."</i>
</p>
<p>Before she left Anise pulled Sam aside to speak with her privately. She reminded Sam that the goa'uld who'd ruled over humans as false gods saw humans as slaves and beasts of burden. She told her that the decrees of those false gods were meant to keep humans breeding so the goa'uld would always have hosts and slaves. Anise was probably right but that didn't really change things. What she felt for Janet might not have been morally wrong, but it was still taboo socially and more importantly it was even more against the regulations than Jack's crush on her. Sam did her best to avoid Janet after that and she managed pretty well until that damn Entity got into her head.</p>
<p>The whole time that thing was in her head Sam was screaming, calling out to those around her. She could see and hear what was going on but couldn't respond. When Janet came into the room and was telling Jack about Sam’s living will and the DNR, Sam heard the crack in Janet's voice, which was already off, thicker, deeper, because of her emotions. When the Entity transferred her consciousness into the memory nest Sam could see and hear what was happening with her body. She heard the way Janet had said her name upon finding her body on the ground, the way she'd ran to her, and the look on her face as she glared at Jack.</p>
<p>
  <i>"I had no choice." Jack whispered.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>"I know." Janet replied, her focus on Sam.</i>
</p>
<p>Janet might had understood why Jack did what he did, but the look on her face said that if Sam was gone, if he'd killed her, there would be no forgiveness, no understanding, only anger, grief, and Janet’s wrath. She would blame him for loosing Sam for the rest of her life. It was another one of those moments no one would ever speak of openly. It was the moment Jack O'Neill realized that Janet was in love with Sam. After Sam had been downloaded back into her own body when she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was Janet's face, her smile, and the unshed tears in her big brown eyes. The first thing she felt was Janet's hand holding her own. The first thing she heard was Janet's voice saying she'd be all right.</p>
<p>Confined to the infirmary there was no running from Janet anymore. She still wasn't completely clear on what she feared more back then. Losing Janet as a friend entirely or learning that by some miracle Janet loved her back. In Sam’s thought process at the time, both scenarios meant losing what they already had. If Janet didn't feel the same why that would have put strain on their friendship, it would have affected her relationship with her and Cassie, hell Janet could have even seen her as someone horrible. If Janet did have the same kind of feelings for her then the strain would come from deciding on what to do with those feelings? They couldn’t openly act on them, so could they handle having a relationship in secret? And if that secret came out could they survive the fall out? The loss of their careers, dishonorable discharge, and the loss of their friends?</p>
<p>Sam had been faking it since high school, she knew if she wanted a career in the Air Force, she'd have to make personal sacrifices. She might not have ever had happy ever after, but she could have been at least content as long as she had Janet in her life as a friend. </p>
<p>In the dimness of her infirmary room after her friends had all checked on her, Sam had found herself alone with Janet for the first time since Janet saved her from the Entity. She could still perfectly recall Janet’s tear shimmering brown eyes staring down at her, her smaller hand holding onto her own in an almost painful grip. Sam had listened as Janet had yelled at her for scaring the hell out of her again.</p>
<p>
  <i>"I'm sorry." Sam said, giving the smaller woman one of those cheeky little smiles of hers.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Janet groaned and shook her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand, refusing to let go of the death grip she had on Sam with the other. "What am I going to do with you?"</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Sam's smile faded when she noticed Janet was trembling. "Janet…"</i>
</p>
<p>Before Sam could say another word, she had been silenced by a kiss that had honestly taken both women by surprise. Their feelings for each other were easier to ignore when they both thought they were one sided. Now that Pandora's box had been opened, there was no putting those feelings back inside, and they would have to face a lot of hard choices because of it. </p>
<p>Don't Ask Don't Tell. Every aspect of Sam's life was clouded in secrets, half-truths, and outright lies. No one who didn't know them could tell anything had changed. The people who did know them, if they suspected, they never breathed a word or said so out loud to them. Though Sam had started to notice Jack, Teal’c and Daniel becoming a bit more protective of them. Teal’c for example, whenever someone tried to flirt with her, or Janet and it got a little out of hand the big guy would warn him off. Everyone knew Teal'c saw Sam as his a little sister, and scuttlebutt around the base let Sam know that people were saying Teal'c had it bad for their CMO, so no one questioned why Teal'c would always warn people to back off. Because of Cassie no one ever questioned the amount of time Sam spent at Janet's, and since they'd been friends since meeting when Janet was first assigned to the SGC no one ever thought about the among of time they spent together. It also didn't hurt that for some unknown reason Sam seemed to attract the interests of the male aliens they encountered. She'd actually had an Asgard pinch her ass once. Janet laughed so hard when she told her she gave herself hiccups.</p>
<p>If only they'd known their time together had a time limit. Those were the happiest times of Sam's life despite everything they had been forced to do to have their careers and each other too. Every moment had been precious to them because they knew it could all go away in an instant. Never in her wildest dreams had Sam ever thought that instant would involve Janet being killed in action. She'd thought their secret would be exposed, goodness knows they had a ton of people out to get them and could have and would have used their relationship against them and the SGC. Sam had even considered herself being killed in action; her luck had to run out at some point, right? </p>
<p>P3X-666. Sam's luck had run out, but it wasn't her who fell. Janet was gone. Killed in action while saving a young man’s life. Sam lost her lover and her best friend. Cassie lost another mother. This wasn't right. Janet being dead wasn't right, and Sam couldn’t stand it any longer. So she was going to fix it.</p>
<p>The first thing she needed to do was find the right solar flair. Then she would need to get as much done as she could before actually going into the SGC. Thankfully, she had plenty of time to work from home. After grabbing Emmett Bregman, the pain in the ass documentary film guy, by the front of his jacket and slamming him into a wall when he tried to talk to her after Janet was killed, General Hammond thought it would be a good idea if she took some time off. Sam used the time well. Once she knew when the solar flare would happen she had her time frame. She used that time to write two programs, one that would give her access to the Gate and one that would send the message. The message turned out to be the harder of the two. She couldn't send a lot, and it would be best to just get to the point, but she had to make sure she sent enough to convince everyone to change what would be their future. They'd done it before, when they traveled to 1969 and again when they got the warning about P4C-970, so hopefully they would do it again. She just had to make sure to send the right incentive.</p>
<p>Once Sam was ready, she headed to the Mountain. She went when she knew the activity level of the base would be low, the Gate wouldn't be in use, and there was as few people as possible who would try and stop her. Stepping off the elevator she came face to face with Siler who was surprised to see her since she wasn't supposed to be there.</p>
<p>"Major." Siler greeted.</p>
<p>Sam smiled. "Relax Sergeant." She reassured. "I'm not really here." She gave a bit of a shrug and then indicated the box she had tucked under her arm. "Didn't really feel like being home alone but don't really want company either, so I thought I'd come down and work on the Spider for a while. Be with people without actually being with people, ya know?"</p>
<p>The man nodded his understanding. "I'm glad you're going to finish her. If you need a hand with anything just give me a shout."</p>
<p>"Thanks, I will." Sam replied. She walked off as if she were going down to the garage where she'd stashed the classic Alfa Romeo Spider she'd been rebuilding as a gift for Janet. She'd found the long forgotten old car in a distant corner of a scrap yard while looking for parts for her motorcycle. It had needed a lot of work just to get it to start but the moment she'd laid eyes on the little roadster she knew she had to get it for Janet. She was going to use the car to cheer Janet up after Cassie left for college, kind of a "Yay, you don't have to drive a mom car anymore!" present. The pain in her chest was almost too much to bear and she nearly had to stop to catch her breath, but she continued despite how badly missing Janet hurt.</p>
<p>Sam barricaded herself in her office and went right to work. She booted up her computers and then fished out two flash drives from the box of car parts she'd been carrying. She hadn't been in her office since before the funeral, when she was still in shock and felt only numbness to help her get through it. It wasn't until now that she noticed one of Janet's lab coats thrown over the back of her chair, and Janet’s favorite coffee mug sitting on her workbench. They'd discovered a planet awhile back that seemed to have vastly superior medical technology and were scheduled to finally make contact within the month. Janet had been like a kid waiting for Christmas. Her eyes were so bright and her smile so big as she talked about the possibilities of what they could learn or gain from the planet. Picking up the lab coat Sam held it just under her nose and took a deep breath. Tears burned at her eyes at the familiar scent. If this worked, if she succeeded in doing what Janet had done for her so many times in the past, then maybe she would still be able to give Janet the Spider and Janet would get to see her medical wonder planet.</p>
<p>Setting the lab coat aside Sam hacked her way into the control room’s computers using a backdoor she knew about from her time with the Entity. Once she was in, she picked up the first flash drive and slid it into the USB port on her computer. She entered her commands and hit enter. Her program worked perfectly, it took control and began the sequence she'd programmed. It locked out the control room's access to the computers so they couldn't stop the Gate and it locked down the Gate room so no one could shut down power from there. If they tried shutting it down manually from the breakers, they’d be to late to stop it, the message would have gone through before they could get there. </p>
<p>The Gate began dialing. Chevrons began locking into place. There was a beep to let Sam now it was time. She picked up the second flash drive, ran her thumb over it, said a little prayer, and plugged it in.</p>
<p>The alarms sounded as the chevrons began locking in. George Hammond, who was on his way home for the night, came running down the spiral stairs. "What the hell is going on?"</p>
<p>"I don't know, Sir." Harriman replied. "The Gate room locked down and we're locked out of the system."</p>
<p>"Well unlock them." Their commanding officer ordered.</p>
<p>"I'm trying, Sir." Harriman replied.</p>
<p>As Harriman worked Teal'c and Daniel showed up and not long after that Jack came running in. "Damnit I was almost out the door."</p>
<p>"The Gate is dialing out?" Daniel asked as he tried to help. "Dialing out to where?"</p>
<p>In the Gate room the familiar blast of the event horizon filled the room after the seventh chevron was locked. "It dialed Earth." Harriman reported.</p>
<p>"It dialed itself?" Jack asked, confused.</p>
<p>"General, there's a transmission being sent through." Harriman reported.</p>
<p>"What sort of transmission? And from where if not here?" Hammond asked.</p>
<p>It took a moment, but Harriman finally reported. "It's encoded, Sir. I don't know what's being sent but I know who's sending it."</p>
<p>"Who?" Hammond demanded.</p>
<p>Harriman turned to look at the men standing behind him. "Major Carter, Sir."</p>
<p>"Carter's not even on base." Jack argued.</p>
<p>Siler spoke up then, "Yes, she is. She said she was going to the garage."</p>
<p>“The lockout seems to be coming from her office.” Harriman told them.</p>
<p>“What the hell is she doing?” Jack demanded as he turned to leave, presumably to head for Sam’s office. </p>
<p>“Wait.” Daniel said, a slow smile creeping onto his face. “Message in a bottle, Sam’s sending a message in a bottle.” </p>
<p>It took a moment for Hammond to figure out what Daniel meant. The gate dialing its own address, transmitting an encoded message, and he bet there was something funny happening on the sun right about now. Hammond had known Sam her entire life, and he understood more about her than she thought he did. "Stand down."</p>
<p>The order came as a surprise. Jack looked at him and replied, "Sir?"</p>
<p>"You heard me." Hammond said firmly. "Stand down. Let the message go through."</p>
<p>"Sir?" Jack repeated, still confused.</p>
<p>"If I'm right about this Colonel than Major Carter is trying to save a life." Hammond turned to look at Jack, a slow hopeful smile appearing as he waited for Jack to understand.</p>
<p>Jack understood instantly and nodded his approval. "Standing down, Sir."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of heavy boots thundering down the metal stairs could barely be heard over the alarms and the repeated pre-recorded warning of an “Unscheduled off world activation.” The Gate room filled quickly with defense units, while General Hammond, SG-1, and the control room officers watched and work from the gallery above. Harriman had already started closing the iris before Hammond could even voice the order. The metal barrier closed and locked into place moments before the back of the Gate began glowing blue, signaling an opening wormhole. With the iris in place all eyes in the control room turned to the computer screen that would tell them if they were receiving an IDC code from one of the teams currently off world, or one of their allies. There was no IDC code but there was an address of origin.</p><p>"So, who's calling?" Jack asked as the tension in the room hung in the air.</p><p>Sam and Harriman looked at each other before looking up at their superior officers. Sam had taken control of the IDC computer, sitting beside Harriman at the controls. She looked over the screens one more time and then turned her face up towards the others. "It's coming from here, Sir."</p><p>"Here?" Jack repeated. "Did we drunk dial ourselves?"</p><p>"No Sir." Sam said with that slightly amused tone she used with Jack when he thought he was being funny.</p><p>"We've got something coming through." Harriman reported. All eyes turned towards the Gate but Harriman shook his head. "No Sirs, not someone, something. It's some kind of file. It's being downloaded into the computer."</p><p>"Shut it down." Hammond commanded.</p><p>"I can't Sir." Harriman replied as he typed madly at his keyboards. "The computer accepted the command codes. Now it's locked out."</p><p>"Command codes?" Hammond replied. "Who's?"</p><p>Harriman checked, double check, and then looked up and said, "Major Carter's, Sir."</p><p>"What?" Sam said with wide eyes. She checked for herself and was confused by what she saw. Those were her codes alright. When she felt everyone’s gaze on her, Sam turned to look at them and said, "Don't look at me I didn't do anything."</p><p>Once the file was completely downloaded the Gate shut down and Hammond ordered everyone to stand down. Then he looked at his core officers and asked, "What the hell just happened? Major?"</p><p>"They're my codes, Sir, but I didn't do anything." Sam reported. She thought this through for a moment and then said, "The call came from our address. Sergeant, check for any significant solar activity."</p><p>Daniel picked up on where Sam was going with this. "You think we've sent ourselves another message in a bottle?"</p><p>"Its possible." Sam replied. "It's the only way to explain why our Gate connected with an identical address. It wasn't just our Gate in general it was this Gate specifically."</p><p>"Major Carter's right." Harriman reported. "There was a solar flare at the exact moment the Gate opened."</p><p>"Well at least this time it wasn't a note with SG-1's blood on it." Jack replied. "So, what did we do that we need to undo this time?"</p><p>"Before you even think of opening that file you best make damn sure it isn't some kind of Trojan horse." Hammond warned sternly.</p><p>"Yes Sir." Sam replied before turning to Harriman. The two quickly fell into a rush of techno babble as they got to work. Once they were absolutely sure the file was safe Sam downloaded it onto a disk and took it to her office. The fact that it took her personal codes to transfer it and that it was her personal encryption style that kept the file secure had put a pit of uncertainty in her stomach. What happens in her future to make her risk sending this back to herself? A hundred different scenarios ran through her head as she sat down and began decrypting the file, none of them would come close to the truth, but she didn't know that yet.</p><p>Sam had just unlocked the file when her peripheral vision noticed a shift in the light coming from the hallway outside her open door; someone had walked into her office. She didn't need to look up to know who it was. Nor did she need to look away from her screen to reach out and accept the fresh coffee being handed to her. She knew it was her, she'd always been able to know when she was close by, and the small warm hand on her back confirmed it.</p><p>"Is that the file that came through the Gate?" Janet asked as she looked over Sam's shoulder.</p><p>"Yeah." She answered with a nod before sipping the coffee Janet had brought her. Sam had never really noticed the slight constant chill of the underground base before. Not until Janet, her closeness, her touch, warmed Sam, and now whenever Janet took her hand away or left her presence, Sam could feel the cold creeping back in. "I just finished opening it. It should be decompressed in a few minutes."</p><p>"Well, for those few minutes we still have a fifty-fifty chance of getting out of here on time." Janet said softly. "I want to milk as much time together as I can while Cassie's still feeling guilty for being so bratty while she was sick. Sooner or later she's going to remember she's a teenager and hates her mother."</p><p>Sam laughed, letting her head fall back against Janet’s shoulder for a moment. "You know you have a wicked streak, Doctor."</p><p>Janet dropped her voice so only Sam could hear her. "You like my wicked streak, Major."</p><p>Sam shivered and Janet smiled, pleased with herself. When the file opened Janet couldn't make heads or tails of what was on the screen. "Looks like you might be awhile. I should let you get to work if I'm going to cling to the hope that we'll make the movie on time."</p><p>Sam knew every word. She read it twice in the time it took for Janet to move away from her. She reached out for Janet so quickly it was like a rattlesnake strike. She grabbed hold of the smaller woman’s wrist, her grip trembling yet tight. </p><p>The look on Sam's face would have filled Janet with concern instantly all on its own, but the death grip she had on her arm really set Janet on edge. "Sam?"</p><p>Sam turned to look at Janet, to look into her eyes. Those big brown doe eyes that spoke volumes to Sam when they had to keep their spoken words silent and secret. She felt Janet place her other hand on top of her own, on the one holding so tightly to Janet's wrist that there might be bruising later. The last time Sam had felt the overwhelming, crushing fear she felt right now her father had just told her he had cancer.</p><p>"Sam?" Janet said gently as she carefully eased Sam's grip on her arm. "Sam what's wrong?"</p><p>It took everything in Sam to stay in control and to remain calm. Not even the warmth of Janet’s hand on the bare skin of her forearm could chase away the icy waves of fear threatening to engulf her. "We need to brief the others."</p><p>"All right." Janet replied, a little confused but knowing better than to push for the moment. "I'll get them." She held Sam's hand a moment longer, squeezing it tightly for reassurance, and gave her a soft calming smile before letting her go. "It'll be ok, Sam."</p><p>While Janet gathered the others in the conference room Sam pulled together a proper report. She had print out versions of the message and a copy of the video file. As she made her way to the conference room, Sam tried to force her body to stop trembling. After Janet had left her office, she'd watched the video and now she just couldn’t seem to stop shaking. Sam was always thinking of the possibilities of this outcome or that probability, it’s just how her mind worked. Thinking about her future with Janet was no different. When Anise/Freya kind of accidentally forced her to admit she had romantic feelings for her best friend she thought for sure any kind of future with Janet was finished. She hadn't even expected to have her as a friend after that. But she didn't lose Janet's friendship, she gained her love and the promise of a future together as a couple. It wasn't easy, figuring out this thing between them; they struggled with their feelings for each other and how that affected every other aspect of their lives. But life kept reminding them just how short and fragile it could be, so they finally said screw it. They kept their private life private, separate, and protected from their professional lives, but they did indeed have a private life together. And Sam could so easily see all kinds of possibilities for their future together, even one where they no longer had to keep their relationship a secret. </p><p>But now that life together was threatened, the possibilities diminishing before her eyes, their future together slipping through her fingers like water, or blood. Sam shuttered. She was going to do whatever it took to prevent what she’d seen on that tape from happening, even if it cost her everything else she held dear, because protecting Janet mattered above it all. </p><p>"You have something to report, Major?" Hammond asked once they were all around the table.</p><p>"Yes Sir." Sam replied as she showed them the printout version of the message, both in its original form and in translation.</p><p>"This is remarkable." Daniel said. "I've never seen a language like this before."</p><p>If the situation were not so dire and so deeply personal, this was Sam’s very heart and soul on the line, she would have smiled at Daniel’s praise. "You wouldn't have.” She tells him. “I created the base of it when I was eight to keep my brother from reading my diary."</p><p>"What does an eight-year-old Carter have to hide in her diary?" Jack asked because he just couldn't help himself.</p><p>"Mostly how stupid and gross I thought Mark was." Sam said honestly.</p><p>"Ah." Jack replied with an amused smirk.</p><p>Sam continued. "I used an updated version while I was at the Academy. It's something only I would know."</p><p>"What does it say, Major?" Hammond asked.</p><p>Any tension her exchange with Jack might have siphoned off was back tenfold. "It's a warning, Sir."</p><p>"A warning about what?" Hammond asked.</p><p>Every muscle in Sam's body tensed which finally made the trembling stop completely. Her eyes filled with emotion, but she managed to keep her face in check, professional to a point, but she needed them to see her concern and the severity of the matter at hand. Her heart was racing as she picked up the remote to play the video. She didn’t want to watch it again, she wasn’t sure she could bear to watch it again, but they all had to see this to understand. "SG teams are ambushed on P3X-666. Causalities are heavy, and there are fatalities, Sir." Her voice shifted, it was harder to hide her emotion than she'd expected as she said, "Doctor Janet Frasier is killed in action."</p><p>Janet managed not to gasp but the shock of Sam's words was written all over her face. Hammond, Daniel and Teal'c were too surprised by Sam's revelation to reply. It was Jack who spoke up instantly. "Lock it out!" He demanded. "Who the hell goes to a planet with 666 in the name anyway? Lock the damn place out!"</p><p>They all looked at her, shock and pain written across their faces in various degrees, and Janet can tell they were all about to agree. "You can't do that, Colonel."</p><p>"The hell I can't!" Jack augured.</p><p>"There has to be a reason teams were sent to that planet, Colonel." Janet says calmly despite not feeling calm at all. The thought of her pending death scared the hell out of her! "Something important enough for the General to send teams to investigate."</p><p>"Janet." Sam said from where she sat.</p><p>"Sam." Janet replied softly. "You can't lock out a whole planet just because I may or may not die on it. There could be something important on it."</p><p>Sam was pressing the remote before she knew she was doing it. The computer screen came to life with a flicker and the video file began to play.</p><p>
  <i>"Oh god. Oh god."</i>
</p><p><i>"Simon."</i> </p><p>Janet's recorded voice rang out from the speakers, filling the stillness of the room, all eyes were on the screen but Sam’s. Her gaze, and she didn’t really care if anyone saw the look in her eyes, was on Janet. </p><p>
  <i>"Simon! Look at me. You are not going to die. Ok? I did not come all the way out here for nothing. We've steamed the bleeding. We're going to get you on a stretcher. We're going to get you home to your family in no time, ok? Now you hang in there, Airmen."</i><br/>
<i>"Y-yes Ma'am."</i>
</p><p>The sound of the staff weapon tore through each and every one of them. When Sam heard Janet cry out on the video her body jerked as if she'd been the one hit. Her eyes burned with tears, her heart hurt, her very soul cried out in response.</p><p>
  <i>"Janet!"</i>
</p><p>That was Daniel’s voice on the video. It was Daniel they watched rush to Janet’s side, his hands trying to stem the flow of her blood. </p><p>
  <i>"We need a medic! Frasier's hit! We need a medic! I need a medic!"</i>
</p><p>The way video Daniel's voice broke, the panic and fear, the heart shattering quiver, they all knew how bad it was. Or would be if they didn’t do something to prevent it from happening. Daniel tried but he couldn't hide the tears any more than Sam could. Teal'c had been resting his hands on the arms of his chair. When he watched Janet get hit with the staff weapon blast, he pulled the arms off. They clattered to the floor, no one seemed to notice, they were all caught in their own personal reactions. Jack had seen a lot of good men fall. Friends who gave their lives the same way he would. He'd be damned if he lost another. The goa'uld and their loyal Jaffa had taken a lot from him. They weren't getting his favorite little Napoleonic power monger.</p><p>Once the video ended Sam explained there seemed to be a documentary crew on hand which is why they had the footage. A full sixty seconds passed before anyone said anything or even moved enough to blink. Jack was about to say something but stopped as General Hammond got up and walked over to a phone. He rang down to the control room. "Sergeant, lock out P3X-666. Mark it as hostile and dangerous and add it to the restricted list."</p><p>When Hammond hung up Janet looked at him, ready to protest, "General."</p><p>Hammond shook his head, stopping her before she could say another word. "Janet." He so very rarely used their first names that hearing it was a shock to their systems, snapping them out of the painful daze seeing Janet die had caused. It was also a sign of how he was truly feeling. "I send good people through that Gate day after day after day, and I have no control over what happens to them once they’re on the other side. For once, I do. There is nothing on that planet that can possibility be more important than the lives of the people caught in what was clearly a Jaffa ambush, and that includes yours. Cassie has already lost one mother in her short, young, life. I'll be damned if she loses another."</p><p>"I…" Janet wasn't sure what to say. What do you say when you've just watched your own death? What do you say when you’ve just watched your colleagues and friends react to that death? What do you say when you can feel the pain rolling off the person you love like waves crashing against the shore? "Thank you, Sir."</p><p>Everyone spent the rest of the day in a haze. They all knew in their heads that Janet was a trained and decorated military officer. She'd proven that she could handle herself time and time again. She'd been the one to come up with the plan to break out of the brig when Hathor had imprisoned all the women and had even held her own in a firefight against Hathor's Jaffa. She'd helped Sam and Daniel go up against Osiris. And no one was ever going to forget the sight of Janet standing toe to toe with Nirrti, gun in hand, ready and willing to put a bullet in the snake's head if she didn't help Cassie. Janet wasn't one to be messed with. But to see her killed in an ambush while trying to do what she did best, saving the lives of her people, that had them all shaken up. Janet was the one they came home too, the one that patched them up and scolded them for being stupid and reckless while at the same time cheering them on and reminding them that they were the damn heroes so they needed to get off their asses and do what it was they did. Janet might not have been officially SG-1, but she was as much a part of the team as Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Daniel. </p><p>After leaving the Mountain at the end of her duty shift Sam drove home to pick up a few things and swap out her car for her bike. She rode around Colorado Springs for a while trying to get her own thoughts and emotions in order before heading over to Janet's. If she was feeling shaken up by what happened, by what they'd seen, she could only imagine what Janet was feeling. When she pulled into the driveway, she noticed Cassie sitting on the steps of the porch. Pulling off her helmet as she walked up the walkway, Sam did her best to smile while running her hand through her hair to shake it out a bit. "Hey kiddo. What's up?"</p><p>Cassie looked up at Sam with concern in her eyes. "What happened today?"</p><p>The blunt question caught Sam a little off guard. If Janet let Cassie see her upset enough to make Cassie worry, she knew today had hit Janet harder than she'd thought. Janet was normally really good at being careful around Cassie, keeping work stuff at work and away from her home life. She was the mom; it was her job to worry about Cassie, not the other way around. But clearly this time Janet hadn’t been able to do that. "Cass, I can't…"</p><p>"Tell me, I know." Cassie sighed. "Well whatever happened it's really got Mom rattled. Is she going to be ok?"</p><p>Sam, who’d taken a seat beside the girl, put her arm around Cassie; drawing her close so the teen could put her head on her shoulder. "Your Mom, she's a pretty tough cookie. But even the strongest of us have moments when we feel a bit vulnerable, and because we see ourselves as being the strong ones, that doesn't always sit well. Janet's just a little shaken and feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, but she's going to be fine. Know why?" She smiled one of those big bright smiles meant only for Cassie. "She's very brave, and because she has us."</p><p>"I'm really glad she has you Sam." Cassie said as she leaned into her hero and other mother. "I was really starting to think you two wouldn't stop being so dumb when it came to how you felt."</p><p>Apparently couples like Sam and Janet had been common among Cassie's people. These were things that really made Sam understand why so many alien cultures kept calling them infantile. "Yeah, so am I." Sam smiled again. Leaning in she kissed Cassie's temple and then said, "I'm sorry about the movie. We’ll make it up to you, I promise. But how about tonight we have a girls' night in? I'm going to go talk to Janet. You order some delivery, your choice, and we'll find something good on pay-preview."</p><p>"Ok." Cassie agreed. "She's upstairs in her room."</p><p>"Cass." Sam called as the girl got up to head inside.</p><p>"I know." Cassie said before Sam could say anything. "I think she's pretty amazing too. I don't tell her enough and I should." Sam had stood by then and was surprised when Cassie ran to her and hugged her. "I should tell you more often too. I love you, Sam."</p><p>"I love you too kiddo." Sam replied as she returned Cassie's hug.</p><p>Upstairs Sam stood by Janet's closed bedroom door, listening. Janet wasn't the type to cry loud enough to be heard, that whole need to protect Cassie thing, but Sam still hesitated before finally opening the door. "Janet?"</p><p>Janet had heard the sound of Sam's motorcycle as it came down her street, so she'd had time to rein herself in and splash some cold water on her face. When Sam opened the door to her bedroom Janet was sitting on her bed, her back pressed to the headboard and her legs folded under her. She smiled a small and she hoped reassuring smile as Sam stepped in and closed the door behind her. "I wasn't sure if you'd make it over tonight."</p><p>"Where else would I be, Janet?" Sam asked as she sat on the edge of the bed close enough to Janet that the smaller woman's knees pressed into her thigh. "After what happened today? After what I saw? What we saw? This is the only place I should be."</p><p>"I'm fine, Sam." Janet smiled sweetly. "Really."</p><p>"If you're so fine why was Cassie waiting for me on the porch?" Sam asked as she made Janet keep eye contact with her. "She wanted to know what happened today, because it had you so rattled she actually noticed."</p><p>Janet frowned at that. She didn't like letting Cassie see her upset. The girl had been through so much in her life that Janet couldn't bare adding even the smallest bit of worry or fear to what she already carried around with her. "I should go down and let her know I'm ok."</p><p>"She knows you're ok, or at least she knows that you will be." Sam said as she stopped Janet from getting up. "She knows I'm here with you. She's ordering dinner, we're going to watch a movie later, but first we're going to talk."</p><p>"There's nothing to talk about Sam." Janet argued.</p><p>"You watched yourself die." Sam said bluntly.</p><p>"It's never going to happen that way." Janet replied. "Even if the General hadn't locked out P3X-666, you'd never let me near it."<br/>
"Damn right I wouldn't." Sam huffed.</p><p>Janet smiled. She reached up and caressed Sam's cheek and smiled even more when Sam leaned into her touch. "That was a pretty big risk your future-self took, sending that message the way she did."</p><p>"It was worth it." Sam said easily. "You're worth the risks, Janet. I don't think I'd be in a very good place if I ever lost you like that. Neither would Cassie."</p><p>"I know how that feels." Janet said softly. "Every time you go through the Stargate, I wonder for just a moment if you'll come back, but then you always do."</p><p>"Of course I do." Sam said as she gave Janet a huge dazzling smile. "If I didn’t, you'd be really pissed at me and no one wants you pissed at them, Janet, it's scary."</p><p>Janet laughed softly, the tension she’d been carrying around since Sam had grabbed hold of her in her office, finally ebbing away. Given her past, it was hard sometimes, admitting to herself that she was worthy of Sam and her love. Thankfully, Sam was very good at reminding her that she was worth it. </p><p>"Keeping the Earth safe is keeping you and Cassie safe." Sam said softly. "And keeping you safe is the only thing that really matters."<br/>
Janet replied by pulling Sam into a kiss that would be able to say more than she ever could in words. Sam had given her a second chance at a future with the people she loved. Things would be different; Janet could feel it. There would be so much more for them now, for her. It was a gift to be sure. But what meant even more to her, was knowing just how much she meant to Sam. </p><p>Sam held Janet tightly long after the kiss had come to an end. Now that the fear had waned, her heart, thoughts, and feelings running at a more normal speed Sam could relax. With Janet safe in her arms Sam could once again think about all the possibilities that lay ahead of them, and she was left with a renewed sense that no matter what else popped up she would fight for those possibilities. Sam’s future was with Janet, no matter what that held in store for them, and they would face it all together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was the first Sam/Janet story I'd ever written because I needed to fix what happened to Janet. She deserved better! It would end up becoming the first in a series as I explored the dynamics between the pair. Coming soon, a prequel that looks at how Sam and Janet came together as a couple. Hope you enjoyed, and will continue reading on. </p><p>~Reese</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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